On This Day


Eto, dumali na naman itong “On This Day” ni Facebook. Lately hindi na ako natutuwa sa mga gusto nitong ipaalala. Tulad ngayon. Tangina, gusto ko nang makalimot. Pero once in a while hindi ko mapigilan, bigla bigla napapaiyak na lang ako. Tulad ngayon.

Kapag naaalala ko siya, napapaisip ako… Paano kaya kung hindi ko siya nakilala? Paano kaya kung hindi naging kami? Paano kaya kung hindi ko siya minahal? Ano na kaya ako ngayon? Nasaan na kaya ako ngayon? Sino na kayang jowa ko ngayon?

Limang taon at walong buwan. Minsan natatanong ko ang sarili ko, nagsayang lang ba ako ng limang taon at walong buwan? Kung sa estado ng pag-iisip ko ngayon, ang sinasagot ng utak at puso ko, “Oo! Sayang. Nagsayang ka lang ng limang taon at walong buwan sa maling tao. Tingnan mo sarili mo ngayon, mag-isa. Samantalang yung taong pinaglaanan mo ng limang taon at walong buwan mo, hayun masaya na sa ibang babae at hindi ka na mahal at wala ng pakialam sayo.”

Tangina ang sakit.

Gusto kong mag-sorry sa sarili ko. Hindi ko alam na mangyayari ito. Sorry, ang tanga tanga ko. Sorry.

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